Never easy
Why is it that whenever there’s a tough, gnarly bit of the Apocalypse Blog to write, I hit a wall of work, exhaustion and general argh?
The last week and a half has been hard. Work exploded on me (due to various issues that I won’t go into here, and have mostly been resolved now) and demanded a lot of attention. And stress. Let’s not forget the stress. Because that lovely stuff makes my CFS play up, which means I have less energy, which often winds up with a downward spiral.
I was zombied by last weekend, but managed to get through it and back onto my feet. And all the while, I was trying to handle the revelations going on in AB, keep up the tension there, build up towards killing off a main character, and try not to suck in the process. What I really wanted was a distraction-free fortnight in which to properly plan and balance the whole thing, but what I ended up with was time snatched on too-short train journeys and wedged in between cooking dinner and peeling the cat off the rug.
I really wish I had been able to devote more time to it all. I hope I did it justice. Right now, I’m just so glad that it’s over that I have no perspective. I rewrote yesterday’s post about the actual shooting about three or four times – luckily, I had built up little bit of a buffer (thanks to the short-short kind of post that Faith does when she’s all shocked and ahhhh), so I had a couple of days to try to get it right. Fingers crossed, huh?
It’s one of the hardest scenes I’ve had to write for this, I think. Trying not to make Ben out to be a complete bastard, trying to make it a difficult choice for Faith (partly through the first point), trying not to make her look stupid or weak, trying to make it all make sense… yeah. Tricky tricky.
Still, it has been interesting. Now they’re all back on the road and I have a few new characters to work into the mix. I did hit a realisation the other day that was going to make things difficult for me – the fact that Faith is still grieving and moping about killing someone. Nothing like a misery-guts to suck the fun out of something, and while ‘chirpy’ isn’t a description you can apply to AB, I do prefer it to be at least enjoyable to read.
So! I’m going to try something different today. The new chapter is not called ‘Redefinition’ for nothing. The train was packed this morning so I got nothing done, and I have to run out tonight, but I will shoehorn some time in for posting somewhere.
But don’t worry. Faith will be back on her (mental) feet and in control again soon. Promise!
Cheney says:
I think that you did the best you could in killing Ben off, that was a bad situation. Faith definitely has a lot of emotions to work through being that the person she got closest to became a zombie.
Wanted to say – I’m very excited about the truth that did come out, about the rainwater being what changes people and makes them sick. Now what about the orange sky?
I’m still really enjoying reading, and sorry I bailed on the guest post. I just have to find a time to clear my head and focus to be able to contribute anything worthwhile, you know? I’m sure you know..
Anyway, I hope that eventually the Seekers make their way back to their old friends. I got attached to Nugget, and definitely want to find out what happens with Sally’s pregnancy and whether the doctor finds a cure.
August 8th, 2009 at 3:09 am
Mel says:
Thanks, Cheney!
The orange sky – well, that’ll work itself out eventually.
No worries about the guest post. Just let me know if you find yourself in a position to do it! You’ve got another five months – no rush.
The current plan is to have the Seekers return to the university every now and then, check in on their friends. Or maybe just use the radio. I’m not sure how it’ll all work out yet, but they haven’t been erased from the story altogether.
Glad you’re still enjoying it. 🙂
August 8th, 2009 at 8:45 am
Svenja says:
I loved the new developments. Well, I was sorry to see Ben go, but it was really great for the story. It really fitted with the kind of harsh reality theme you have going on, and I really really like that.
Also loving Matt’s posts. You did a great job at writing in a different voice for him, and I liked getting his more casual perspective on things. It was a great choice to let him move the narrative along rather than Faith while she was so depressed.
I hope your life stuff calms down for you soon, and that you’re not too stressed. And I’m looking forward to the next installments of the AB, as usual!
August 8th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Mel says:
Killing off a major character isn’t something I do lightly, but I’m glad it seems to be working out, Svenja! And I’m pleased that you like Matt’s voice. He was trickier than I had thought, but he’s fun.
I have a long weekend off work this weekend, so I’m putting my feet up as much as possible. So far, it’s working to destress me. Phew.
Better go write today’s post! Thanks for the comments. 🙂
August 9th, 2009 at 6:19 pm