13 May 2013 - 6:33 pm

Sparks from spam

I get a lot of spam on my various websites, in the form of comments full of links, nonsense, and fake praise. Some of them make no attempt to seem like a legitimate post, more concerned with getting the links up on my pages. Others sound perfectly sensible until you realise what they’re commenting on and know that they haven’t read it at all.

In the middle, there are the wordvomit comments. These almost seem like sensible comments until you read them: while you might know all of the words in the comment, they make no sense whatsoever. It’s like an auto-translator or a thesaurus twitched and threw up.

Some of these wordvomit comments are so funny that I feel the need to share them, like this gem: “big switching point that have a real wood cedar plank upon it along with the point that you can cigarette lighter in material?”

A writer friend of mine suggested that these would make great writing sparks. Well, I suppose it’s a use for the nonsense I have to wade through regularly to get to the real comments. I came across this today and thought it was weird enough to produce something interesting:

Big gloomy eyes staring alibi from a photo frame.

So there you go: one spark from the wealth of wordvomit in my spam folder. Have at it!

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  1. Francisco says:

    First thought: A photo proves someone innocent of a crime (e.g. it shows that they were somewhere else when the crime was committed).

    May 14th, 2013 at 2:49 am

  2. Mel says:

    Yes! Something along those lines occurred to me, too. What I find interesting is the ‘gloomy’ aspect. A gloomy alibi?

    Oh, I just had a twisted idea: what if the eyes were in the frame, not the picture? Creepy.

    May 14th, 2013 at 1:29 pm